Another Wednesday night, another evening spent in front of the TV for the emotional roller coaster and prime entertainment that is the Great British Bake Off. This week the remaining contestants took to the tent to try their very skilled hands at baking without sugar, gluten and dairy for Alternative week.

These are 19 thoughts we had watching the gang struggle with bitter cakes, pocket-less pita pouches and ice cream-free rolls.

1. What’s this you say? A cake without sugar?

2. Are you sure?

3. Hang on, don’t honey and agave nectar contain sugar? So we’re replacing refined sugar with…sugar?

4. Fear not, we’ve thought of a fantastic alternative.

5. Do NOT ever bring pears to Paul’s parties. You’ll end up getting very told off, like last week’s star baker Ian.

6. Ugne, you tried so hard, but your cake still looks like it’s had a rough day at the office.

gbbo screenshot
(GBBO)

7. Gluten free pita breads? Oh dear, we pitta the fool who has to bake those.

8. One baker REALLY didn’t get along well with the gluten free pittas.

9. For once, we don’t actually want to eat anything on that gingham tablecloth.

10. For the show stopper, the bakers are making an ice cream roll. Hang on, that challenge sounds familiar…

11. The show stoppers sound amazing, but after Baked Alaska gate we’re on tenterhooks in case there’s another ice cream catastrophe.

12. Actually, now we think about it, we made an “ice cream roll” the other day.

13. WHAT IS THIS FILTH? IS THIS WHAT BBC LICENSE PAYERS’ MONEY IS GOING ON?

gbbo screenshot
(BBC)

14. Let’s get this straight – Mat made an “ice cream roll” without any actual ice cream?

15. Oh it squished out like a tube of toothpaste, we get you mate. We’ve all been there.

16. Uh-oh, Ugne’s done it again.

gbbo screenshot
(BBC)

17. A whole new (slightly alarming) side of Paul Hollywood comes out when he’s presented with a small fondant lady and a knife.

British Bake Off on Twitter

18. HA! Nadiya stole Ian’s star baker crown! How’d you like them apples (or in your case, offensive pears), Ian?

19. Poor Ugne, we’re sad to see you go. Who could have known that a peanut butter based concoction would be anything other than absolutely delicious?!